While there is such a lot of stigma and shame involved in letting people know you were sexually assaulted, due to worries about judgement and what people might think, it requires a lot to speak up on the matter. Being able to speak about it, has a place, especially if it is received well and validated. However, in my experience of over 20 years of working with people, I’ve found that telling the story of a terrible event that you’ve endured, is not the answer to real healing. It does require courage, definitely, but going through what happened, unpacking it with friends or in therapy, is not helpful towards recovery. From a neurological perspective it leaves you tied to it as it reinforces the neural pathway developed during the situation, each time you do and frequently leads to re-traumatisation. This reinforces the feeling of being a victim. Hence, I see many people in my clinic New Dawn Recovery From Sexual Abuse that are still stuck as a victim and many that refer to themselves as survivors. However, survivors are still suffering from what happened, often a long time ago. This misunderstanding is not the fault of the public as the idea of talking it out, or unpacking traumatic incidents has been and largely continue to be the traditional therapeutic and counselling approach of many organisations along with support groups. In reality, such groups often become a place of re-traumatisation on a regular basis, even though the members may find the support and not being alone with their secret, of value. Membership of such groups may also experience a downside in their identity as part of the group and they may be faced with a dilemma that may inhibit motivation for recovery, especially if this means a change identity or status that may mean they are no longer valid members of the group.

In my book Rapid Core Healing, I discuss this at length in the Chapter called The Toxic story. There are better ways to work with sexual abuse recovery now that can assist in powerful release resulting in healthier brain functioning and recovery in only a few sessions.

You can recover from sexual abuse. 

Help is available in person or online Details

This is part of a series of publications about 19 misconnections about Sexual abuse BY YILDIZ SETHI Details